When Things Can't be Mended

One of the most difficult aspects of packing is handling items that are fragile and have been previously repaired. These items are especially vulnerable to repeat damage, either at the point of prior repair or at another section. Sometimes, no matter how careful you are, these items break. I’ve thought about this issue recently: how some clients are especially fragile, like items that have been previously repaired, and sometimes the stress of moving pushes them to the breaking point. I have to remind myself that sometimes there is nothing we do can prevent the toll that the moving process takes.

We worked recently with a couple moving to an active adult community. Their home was exceptionally cluttered, and they asked for help getting it ready for market. At our initial meeting, the wife cried. At the time, I assumed it was from embarrassment at the home’s condition or anxiety that we would force her to throw things away. As we learned later, the real reasons were much more complex.

The couple has two grown sons, both of whom live far away. A third son died of an overdose many years ago and was found in his bedroom by the father. After his son’s death, the father developed an alcohol problem, which he has been struggling with ever since. As we sorted through the home, we came upon many items which belonged to the son who had passed away. It was very difficult for both parents. The husband’s drinking increased during the sorting process, and we observed mounting tension between husband and wife. One day, we arrived at nine in the morning to find the husband already drunk and being taken to rehab. It was not the first time, the wife informed us. She doubted it would be the last.

“What can we do,” my staff asked. “How can we help them?"

“We can do what they have hired us to do in a caring and professional manner," I replied. “This family has been fragile and unhealthy for a long time. We didn’t cause the issues they struggle with and we cannot cure them."

Like damaged china that is especially vulnerable to breakage, we are taking fragile individuals and placing them under added stress. Leaving a house full of so many sad memories may indeed be best for them, but there is no way to circumvent the pain involved in the moving process. As senior move managers, we work professionally, we listen compassionately, and we help our clients achieve their goals. We remind ourselves that some people, like some things, are just too fragile, and although we do our best, some things can’t be mended.

Posted in Downsizing Your Home, Emotional Aspects of Moving, Senior Moving Solutions