Expert Column
Arleen R. Stern, LCSW 
Arleen Stern has been working with the elderly and their families for over twenty...read more
Articles In This Column
- How to Help Seniors Cope with Pet Loss
- Advance Planning: Making Tough End of Life Decisions
- Choosing a Home Health Agency: A How-to Guide
- Homecare: 7 Surefire Ways to Create a Symbiotic Relationship
- Coping Strategies for Caregivers: 4 Ways to Make it Through
- Life and Loss: Coping Strategies for Caregivers
- Long Distance Caregiving: How a Geriatric Care Manager Can Help You
Geriatric Care Management
Comments For "Life and Loss: Coping Strategies for Caregivers"
I don't even want to think about the day I lose my mother but I know it will be easier then if I think about it now. My mother has Alzheimers and in many ways I feel like I've already lost her. I don't know whats harder...seeing it coming or not.
Dear Mrs. Davies,
Thank you for your touching comments. You are absolutely right. Someone caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease can feel, in many ways, as if she has lost her loved one before the actual death occurs. While there is no way to take away the pain of this loss, it may help if you allow yourself to grieve the small and not-so-small losses along the way. For example, people with memory loss generally cannot manage their own bills. This is a loss for loved ones to acknowledge and grieve. They might think, "She was always so quick at taking care of these things," or "Where is that person I once knew?" Letting in the sadness, pain, and other emotions this type of change evokes will help in acclimating to the current situation—and then being able to more fully enjoy what the person is still capable of doing. And yes, there are moments when one can bear thinking about what "is coming" and other times best spent focused on what is happening in our lives right now.
Be well,
Arleen