A Consumer's Guide to Death & Planning Your Own Funeral

There is one sentence that sums up what everyone knows about death and funeral planning, "You're going to die."

It's true, you know. You are going to die. We all do in time, but few of us care to consider the logistics involved when it happens, especially regarding the funeral. This denial of death often leaves your loved ones in a fix as they try to give you what you would have wanted, though you never cared to discuss it, or no one in the family ever bothered to ask.

Plan to Pay Big If You Don't Plan Ahead

Since about 1994 it has cost, on average, more to get out of this world (a funeral) than it does to get into it (prenatal care and delivery). Why? Most funeral directors cite emotional overspending as the reason for funerals costing so much. Given the emotional state of the family member making the arrangement visit, and without specific, known preferences from the "guest of honor," most will yield to the temptation to say, "Just give me what you think I need, and make it nice." Imagine if we bought used cars this way.

Share Funeral Plans with Family

Right this minute make a decision: do you prefer burial or cremation? Now, tell someone who will be around when you go. Congratulations, you have just done more funeral planning than about half the 2,000,000+ who will die in the United States this year! Other questions will follow that initial decision, of course. If you decided that you want a burial, where do you want it? If you decided on cremation, would you like your ashes retained in an urn or scattered? If retained, by whom? If scattered, where? And so it goes until you have all the decisions made. Now, write them down and make certain someone close by (such as a neighbor or friend) knows where to find your funeral instructions. It is one of the most loving acts you can do for your family.

Now that we have your plans taken care of, how about your spouse? Brother? Sister? Mother? Father? The difference between a funeral that was discussed beforehand with the deceased and one that wasn't is about $3,000 and a lifetime of wondering if you did the right things. Have the conversation. Get your affairs in order. And if you think the topic entirely too defeatist, consider this: the best way to ensure something never happens is to plan for it.

It's your funeral.

Ed Markin, BS, MBA, PhD, is Director of Research for the Alzheimer's Disease Research Foundation and author of over a dozen books. For the past fifteen years he has operated the Funeral Help Program, which is a clearinghouse for consumer information. He has appeared on numerous TV and radio shows as well as being published or quoted in hundreds of magazines and newspapers.

Posted in Funeral Planning: Going in Style, Talking to Aging Parents, Types of Funerals