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Supportive Homecare

Going Home from the Hospital: Part 2 of 2

February 11th, 2008
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You are about to go home. You may be scared, but eager to leave the hospital to go home with your family, sleep in your own bed, eat home-cooked food, and resume your routine. Your family is happy that you are coming home, but they also worry whether they can provide proper care for you.

Professional homecare agencies and homemakers can help greatly and are often essential, but in most instances the primary caregiver in the home is a family member, who will be depended upon for much of the daily support.

He/she is the one who usually must deal with your many moods and sudden changes of behavior, and the altered status of the family members. Illness creates disruptions in the usual family routines, and may change individual roles and expectations. The breadwinner may now have to handle household tasks and care for children. Family members often feel left out in the discharge planning. They can experience profound upheavals in their lives, and their needs must be taken into account.

Attention Caregivers


Here are some points to remember:

  • Illness touches off old thoughts, feelings and fears. Earlier experiences, even ones you've forgotten, affect your attitude now. Sometimes, it seems difficult to understand the connection between those past events and the present situation.
  • You may have to assume new responsibilities, and at times you may feel angry and resentful about these new obligations.
  • Everyone worries about the other's vulnerability. If fears about the future are not discussed openly, individual family members may feel isolated. The need to protect the other person from unpleasant information can become a burden. Try to speak openly about your concerns. Shared feelings are easier to handle.
  • You have the right to information. Ask questions, even if they appear trivial. Attending discussion groups offered by hospitals or community agencies can provide information and mutual support
  • Remember to meet your own needs. Don't neglect your own medical care. Schedule time for your social and recreational activities. No one can be a giver 24 hours a day.
  • Fear, guilt, and anger are all natural feelings but often difficult to admit. Especially common are fears associated with the uncertainty of the future. How long will this illness go on? What can I expect? Will I be able to manage? There are no definite answers to many of your questions. If you can adopt a philosophy of "a day at a time," it helps.
  • Usually, there is a lot of focus on eating. It often is an expression of wanting to do something to make the ill person feel better. Try not to feel guilty if it sometimes seems excessive. You need reassurance that you are taking good care of your family member, and providing pleasurable food can help you feel you are doing a good job.
  • The restrictions of illness often elicit anger at those providing care in the family. Limitations on activities, changes in appearance, loss of physical control, on-going pain, and the like are all frustrating. They may require changes in sexual life, social activities, and maybe in life style.
  • Meeting anger with anger is very natural, but it seldom helps. Straightforward discussion about facing the changes, and adapting to the limitations may be the best help, for both patient and caregiver. Family members can, in most cases, manage to care for a person at home, especially if they know and use available resources. There are usually support services to call on and ways to cope. It may take a lot of experimenting and frustration, but the rewards are worth it.

Read Going Home from the Hospital: Part 1 of 2

Read Before Hospital Discharge—Evaluating Your Homecare Needs

  

Editor's Note: This article was authored by Irene Harrison, LCSW.

Posted in Hospital Discharge, Hospitalization, How to Care for Someone at Home, Supportive Homecare

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