Managing Stress During the Holidays

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Kim Israels

Kim Israels earned her Certified Life Coach designation through the Institute of Professional Empowerment...read more

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Managing Stress During the Holidays

December 19th, 2007

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With the holidays right around the corner, feelings of increasing stress and tension are normal. There are a variety of reasons that can contribute to this, such as having too many things to do in a limited amount of time, spending more than you can afford, having unrealistic expectations (things must be perfect!), spending time with people you don’t really like, or not having anyone to spend the holidays with at all. Many of us have a hard time saying “no.” We take on too many responsibilities, have too many obligations to fulfill and then wonder why we feel so overwhelmed. Saying “yes” when you really want to say “no” can make you feel resentful, and later you may even feel robbed of giving in the spirit of joy.

It is easy to put others’ needs ahead of your own, especially if you are a responsible and caring person. You may feel that it is your job to take care of others to the point that you neglect yourself. This attitude can make you feel needed and indispensable, but on the flip side, it can also make you feel as though no one can do the job as well as you can, or that you are being “selfish” if you consider your own needs. Remember: you cannot help others unless you take care of yourself first.

My friends Tom and Nancy have hosted Christmas dinner at their house for the past seven years. What started out as a small gathering escalated into a large event over the years, as more relatives were included, new boyfriends or girlfriends were invited, and families grew. This year, Tom and Nancy were invited to spend Christmas week with family friends who own a large beach house on the beautiful island of Kauai. Tom and Nancy struggled with their decision because so many people looked forward to their annual holiday get-together. But finally, they decided it was an opportunity too good to pass up, and that it would provide them with a very relaxing, well-deserved and needed rest in paradise. Most of their friends understood, and because they had been told so far in advance, had no problem making other plans. However, one friend just couldn’t believe that Tom and Nancy were not going to be having their annual holiday dinner this year and kept asking them if they were sure they were going out of town, and whether they had already purchased their plane tickets.

We have all heard the expression “change is good,” and yet adapting to change is one of the most difficult things for us to do. We get into a rut, a routine, and we say, “It’s always been this way.” Is it possible to see a change in our routine as an opportunity for growth not only for us but for others as well?

Here are some suggestions for a less stressful holiday season: