Hospice Expert
April Smith is the marketing director for South Wind Hospice, which serves 17 counties...read more
- How to Choose a Hospice
- Hospice: The 4 Levels of Care
- Hospice: How Chaplains Help
- Hospice: What to Expect
- The 5 Stages of Dealing with Grief: What to Expect
- Hospice: The Interdisciplinary Team
- 3 Big Misconceptions About Hospice
- The Role of Hospice Care in Pain Management
- Hospice: Discover a Free Medicare Benefit
- Hospice: Serving the Whole Unit—Patient, Family, Friends and Physicians
- Hospice: Getting Back Control of Your Life
Hospice
The 5 Stages of Dealing with Grief: What to Expect
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Hospice provides bereavement care to the patient’s family and friends for at least one year after the patient’s death. Chaplains, social workers and a bereavement counselor provide ongoing support for families dealing with grief. These professionals are experienced in helping others cope with the dying process. Psychiatrist and author Elisabeth KĂĽbler-Ross identified the five stages of grief that can be expected when a person is dying or knows someone who is dying.
1. Anger
People tend to get angry when they lack control of a situation. They may be angry and upset at their loved one, or the doctor, or even God. Because they are powerless and unable to change things, they blame others for their painful feelings.
2. Denial
Coping with the idea of dying or losing someone is a hard concept to grasp. People don’t want to believe it’s true and begin denying that anything is wrong. They convince themselves that they heard wrong, that the doctor is wrong or that it’s just not possible.
3. Bargaining
This is based on the theory that good things happen to good people. When someone is dealing with death, they sometimes experience guilt and dwell over the “if-onlys.” For example, if only I had been a better person, this never would have happened. They pray for a miracle or promise to be a better person if they (or their loved one) can overcome the illness.
4. Depression
Once people come to terms with the fact that they are dying and there is nothing they can do to change it, they become depressed. This stage involves despair, constant crying, fatigue, and feelings of sadness. They realize death is inevitable and begin focusing on feelings of great loss.
5. Acceptance
This is the final stage of mourning the loss of life. Basically, it’s accepting the fact that death will or has occurred. The person experiences closure and can now move on with their life.
These stages are typical reactions to grief but everyone deals with loss in their own way. If you are dealing with death, take advantage of the hospice services that will help you grieve on your own terms, at your own pace.
Spreading the Word—
April Smith
Learn more about dealing with grief and loss by visiting Dealing With Grief and Guilt. |
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Posted in Caregiver Support, Dealing with Grief, Dealing with Grief & Guilt, Hospice, Hospice: April Smith, Terminal Illness
i know when my dad passed away i was depressed for months. but with therapy i got through it. looking back it seems that the earlier stages i just went through in a week almost, but the depression just stayed.
Dear Fran,
Your reactions to your father’s death are very normal. Depression can be the longest and most difficult stage to get through. Sometimes it can be so severe that medication may be needed. I’m glad you sought out therapy. So many people think they have to grieve alone, but the loss of a loved one is a very traumatic thing the deal with. Therapists and counselors are there to listen and help you work through it.
April
I lost my son about 1 year ago, he was only 29. He was my best friend as well as my only son. I am not dealing with this loss very well and need help. How does a mother ever deal with the loss of a child.
Hello April,
Just two suggestions for you. It might be good to credit the above information with Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, since that it is her theory you are presenting. Within this you might want to be clear that she did not propose that this was a linear process. Secondly, although the article is very short you may want to acknowledge that there has been many developments within Grief Education and Theory since the 5 stages. This would be concidered more current and would not limit the scope of your presentation. I say this as a hospice professional and as an educator within bereavement for sometime. Thanks - Carlyle
Dear Carol Payne,
I am truly sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine what you are going through. I’m sure this past year has been very difficult for you and your family. There are many ways to deal with loss and admitting you are struggling is really the first step. Please consider help from grief support groups (parents who have lost a child), therapists, psychiatrists, bereavement counselors, etc. They will help you get through life one day at a time. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
April
Yes, the 5 stages of death are from the research of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and I should have stated that in the article. I wasn’t trying to take credit for her work, I was merely trying to give a better understanding of what someone dealing with death may be feeling and that it is normal to have these reactions. I should have worded my opening differently. I apologize to my readers for anything that was misleading. As I am not an expert on grief I always encourage people who are dealing with grief to get professional help. These 5 stages are not set in stone and, of course, each person’s reactions to loss will vary. That’s why I was careful to say:
“These stages are typical reactions to grief but everyone deals with loss in their own way. Hospice provides services to help each individual grieve on their own terms, at their own pace.”
For more information on death, dying and grief go to http://www.caringinfo.org.
Send me some information about counseling theories for those dealing with death, grief and guilt after death
Hello everyone. I am an Elementary Education major and am creating a unit on the five stages of grief. Im planning on creating the unit for 4-5th grade. If you have any ideas for activities or real life applications that I could use, it would be greatly appreciated. Also, which community resources are out there to help deal with grief, and how do they help? Thanks everyone.
Dear Janice,
I do not have any formal education on counseling those dealing with death. However, any library or book store would have a section on this topic with books written by professionals that could provide a great deal of helpful information. I’m sorry I couldn’t help more.
April
Dear Tracy,
I think it’s great that you are dedicating a unit regarding grief for children of that age range. A lot of people think children can not understand or handle grief, but it’s important to teach them how to cope with loss. They will deal with grief at some point in their lives. Many children at that age have experienced the loss of a pet so that may be a good approach for introducing this topic since students might be able to relate to that specific situation. Each community will have different resources offered depending on your location. Good Luck!