Arleen Stern has been working with the elderly and their families for over twenty...read more
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- Long Distance Caregiving: How a Geriatric Care Manager Can Help You
- When to Consider a Geriatric Care Manager
Geriatric Care Manager: A. Stern
Long Distance Caregiving: How a Geriatric Care Manager Can Help You
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Last month I received two comments about long-distance caregiving, a situation that is all too common and always challenging. Caregiving is sometimes a complicated task, and any difficulty can become magnified by the sense and reality of your being far away. Caregivers who reside at a distance from their loved ones often experience feelings of anxiety, lack of control and guilt.
My best advice is to plan ahead. Familiarize yourself with services in your loved one’s area, or call a care manager and have that person begin visiting your loved before a crisis occurs. If you haven’t planned ahead, don’t feel bad—we’re all human. What you can do now is get to work on your own or call in that care manager.
How will a care manager quickly step in when you live at a distance?
A care manager can:
- Listen carefully, make the necessary contacts and develop a plan (within days, if necessary) following your and your loved ones’ dictates on quality of life and practical considerations.
- Be the “eyes” that you cannot be, simply because you are not there.
- Advise as to when it is necessary for you to come in person.
- Coordinate care in the home or placement in a long-term care facility, communicating with medical and nursing staff, neighbors and friends, and keeping you informed.
- Escort your loved one to a doctor, an emergency room or provide companionship and solace through a hospital stay if necessary, acting as a liaison between medical professionals, you and your loved one.
- >Consult in the home or facility, providing oversight of caregivers as well as human contact and caring to your loved one.
- Help your loved one acknowledge the implications of what has happened, and provide a necessary empathetic ear. This might be as simple as saying the words, “yes, you are in pain now, and it is understandable to be frightenened (or sad, or angry)” and to offer help and hope, by letting your loved one know that he or she will have help for as long as it’s needed.
In short, the care manager’s role is to assist both the loved one and those far away in coming to terms with the changes taking place, by caringly and professionally assessing the situation, and quickly responding to any needs. When the crisis has passed, it is time for fine-tuning, which can be done by the day, and in the weeks to come. When everyone has a chance to catch their breath, it’s time for the long-term care planning.
A final thought: coming to grips with the changing nature of our lives and the lives of those we love is a challenge. But in reality, the only thing we can count on is change. So here are two questions I think will be helpful for you to ponder: How have you handled change in the past? And how would you like to handle change? A care manager with mental health expertise or a mental health therapist can be helpful if you are struggling with these questions. With a better understanding of ourselves, we can more easily roll with life’s punches.
I look forward to your comments...
Be well,
Arleen
Posted in Caregiving, Dealing with Grief & Guilt, Essential Resources, Geriatric Care Management: Arleen Stern, Geriatric Care Managers: How They Can Help, Homecare 101
I have been wondering what is the difference between the services a geriatric care manager offers and ones offered by ombudsmen? Is it the same?
Saule,
I can answer this question. As Arleen can attest, a geriatric care manager assesses a person’s situation and them formulates a care plan based on that assessment. In addition, a care manager can find community resources, assist with placement in a facility if necessary and arrange other services a client might require.
An Ombudsman acts as an advocate for individuals in long-term care settings—investigating and hopefully resolving health, safety and welfare related complaints and addressing issues with government agencies or other service providers.
The main difference: a geriatric care manager helps you arrange your care and an Ombudsman helps protect your rights within that care scenario. Does that make sense to you? Do you have any other questions I might be able to answer for you?
Lori
Hi…so glad to find your site. I live in San Diego, California. My mother lives in Peoria, Arizona, in an Assisted Living Home. She has dementia. They take terrific care of her (truly), but she has been deteriorating mentally quite rapidly in the last two weeks. She needs to have her medications reviewed and probably revised. The ALH has arranged for a doctor to make housecalls, but I think she needs more in the way of having someone who specializes in mental health and ALzheimers evaluate what medications are best for her mental condition. I go there often, my father has renal failure and cong. heart failure and lives inthe same home as my mother. Mentally he’s fine, but I need help with my mother. Please contact me and let me know what steps to take, or what is available in Arizona.
Dear Ms. Lantzman,
It is so difficult to be far away, and coordinate care for loved ones. And the pain and shock of changes is magnified at a distance. If it is financially possible, I would advise hiring a geriatric care manager to meet your parents and assess the situation. That person can help put any needed services in place and monitor your parents. A geriatric care manager can also provide counseling and ongoing feedback to you.
If finances are an issue, I would advise speaking with your mother’s physician or an administrator at the assisted living facility about getting your mother a psychiatrist, preferably a geriatric psychiatrist. A psychiatrist along with a physician could aid in assessing, adjusting and monitoring medications.
You are taking on a great deal. Good luck to you.
Arleen Stern