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Caregiver Burnout: How to Deal With It & Avoid It
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From an evolutionary standpoint, our bodies are made for short bursts of stress—like running away from dangerous situations, such as a forest fire. But today’s world is one of constant low-level stress. For caregivers, high stress levels are continual. And frankly, the human body isn’t made to withstand such constant wear and tear. As a whole, many family caregivers cannot put aside strong feelings associated with caregiving, which can run the gamut from devotion to guilt, to see the importance of avoiding the problem of caregiver burnout.
I cannot stress this enough: as a caregiver, you are only as good as the care you can provide. Oftentimes this is based on factors outside your control. You will get tired. You will get frustrated. You will need help. You’re allowed to have these thoughts and feelings.
So how do you know when passing frustration has fizzled into a burnout situation? Well, early signs are similar to depression in that caregivers can vacillate between anger, anxiety, sadness and irritability. Feelings of exhaustion, both physically and emotionally, along with changes in weight are also hallmarks. Keep in mind that a depressed mind can make for a depressed immune system; getting sick often could be another warning sign. (Additionally, perhaps the greatest irony of caregiving is that the caregiver’s health concerns are often not looked into, because the caregiver isn’t the one who is “sick” or “needs help.” Many family caregivers are reluctant to “take up time” for their own doctor visits.) If any of these symptoms grow in frequency or intensity, then it is time to seek help.
Again and again I urge caregivers to make certain they are taking care of themselves, because although it is noble to place someone else’s needs above yours, it is not always feasible or right. In parent-child relationships, the adult children will often feel that they must look after the parent—to return the favor of having been raised by them—even they are unqualified or ill-equipped to do so. These are all honorable ideas, but the reality is that caregiving situations—just like raising a child—requires a village. If you want to provide good long-term care then you need to get hooked in with family, friends and outside resources. You can be the primary caregiver and still not be there every minute of the day. Spread out responsibilities.
In the Gilbert Guide blog alone, we offer dozens of solutions and ideas to help family caregivers, including online resources, coping strategies and information on topics such as Alzheimer’s and dementia care, and how to effectively advocate as a caregiver. Support groups provide family caregivers with a place to discuss their feelings openly, can help monitor the effectiveness of coping strategies, and let caregivers know they are not alone. But one of the simplest solutions to avoiding caregiver burnout is this—keep your sense of humor and look for the small joys that can come your way throughout the day.
Wishing you the best,
Lara Belonogoff
Posted in: Caregiver Burnout, Caregiver Support, Caregiver Support, Caregiver Support, Caregiving
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As a care giver who has Parkinson’s, I can say amen to everything you said. Now if I could just get myself to actually DO what you said! LOL I really do try to take care of myself, too, but sometimes things have to be done RIGHT NOW, whether it’s a good time for my body to cooperate or not. I have a great support team, particularly my dear hubby. We pay for help several days a week, and Hospice helps mostly with equipment and bathing.
I look forward to reading this blog, and I will add you to my links.
[…] In 2004, Baylor College of Medicine’s Huffington Center on Aging found that of 36 million seniors in the US, over 10 million live alone and 95% of them want to age in place. Another 30% of seniors move into long-term care facilities don’t make this move out of necessity, but because of caregiver burnout. A more widespread use of assistive technology might help to decrease that last statistic. Assistive technology can include any of the following: keyless entry systems, computerized medication dispensers, video doorbells, stair lifts and personal heating systems. Most of this is not new. Here’s where it gets interesting: a “smart home” (a home that uses automated technology) can also incorporate responsive and preventative systems, including an incontinence monitor, a respiration monitor, an inactivity monitor that would notify emergency services if someone is idle for too long, and activities of daily living tracking systems that use sensors to identify habitual tasks. The systems establish a norm of activity to identify potentially dangerous deviations from this norm. […]
i am thankful for this blog posting, but am also looking to find more ways to deal with the stress that my family is dealing with. currently, my grandfather has been placed into a nursing home and my grandmother is having some irregular heart rate problems. i am one of two grandchildren in the area, and my mother is also assisting.
i tend to shoulder a large amount of responsibility because of the fact that i am a part time employee and a graduate student, so my schedule is more flexible, but the issue is becoming more apparent that my mother and i are becoming burnt out.
we live together, and since money is tight for grad students, i will be living with her for the next few months, if not longer.
how can we try to keep this situation (the grandparents) from keeping us from burning out?
i can tell that it is approaching and don’t want to reach that point.
Carey,
First off, you have taken the most important step—realizing that burnout is around the bend. Now comes the second challenge and that it to figure out how to stop the burnout. As with anything that has many components you need to evaluate your resources and figure out what you can manage and what others can manage. If the caregiving work is being divvied between three people, who also have other responsibilities (and you are responsible for your self and your well-being so tack that on the list too!) then you need to assess if you need more help. Finding in-home caregivers might not be financially viable for you, but hiring a young person to clean the house for your grandmother so you or your mother doesn’t need to might prove affordable. Small things can make a difference. For example, if meal preparation is taking up a lot of time stock the freezer with fast and healthy meals. On those night when you are exhausted, but you and your grandmother need a nutritious meal then one is available in minutes. Big things are important too. Does your grandmother qualify for any benefits? Check out http://www.gilbertguide.com/pdf/coverage-at-a-glance.pdf for a quick summary, but you might also want to check with your state’s Medicaid office to see if your grandmother qualifies for any help. Also looking into your area’s caregiver support groups is imperative. In the same way that new moms often band together and ask each other for favors and tips so can family caregivers join support groups and learn from others and find a place to vent their frustrations. Throughout this experience remember that you and your mother can only provide good care if you are taking care of your self. And finally the best thing you can do is arm yourself with knowledge; in this blog and website alone we have postings on all aspects of caregiving and listings of numerous resources.
Lara
[…] In her book Caregiving: The Spiritual Journey of Love, Loss and Renewal, Beth Witrogen McLeod explores the process of finding meaning in human suffering. The author frames caregiving as a rite of passage—a journey toward heightened compassion and connection with one’s true self. The book is a mélange of personal experience and practical advice—from both McLeod and other professionals in the fields of aging, finance, medicine and spirituality. Caregiving offers hope and inspiration by delving into the core issues of life and death, exploring such topics as: […]